Bloodache
by Lally Y K
Summary: Sometimes, we ache for love. And others for blood. Rated for strong laguage. DxR
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: Vampire Academy doesnt belong to me. I just play them with my own insanities._

**_Bloodache_******

_Lally__ Y K_

Prologue

_I felt like I was on those nightmares that Lissa used to have while we were running away from St. Vladimir Academy. But my own were quite darker, like the fact Im shadow-kissed made my worse nightmares the worst._

_I was running in a forest. I could recognize the Academys trees, they were so familiar, even though I hadnt been there for a while. Lissa was behind me, her legs wasnt so strong, and she screamed my name, telling me to come back. Somehow, the midnight darkness grew as my legs pushed further on the direction I was headed to. I wasnt sure where I was going and the blankness didnt suit me well._

_Suddenly, the wards came down and all those ghosts I saw at the airport and in the plane were flying, just above my head, shouting, screaming so loud that I had to put my hands on my ears, trying desperately to make them go away._

_"Its all your fault!", I heard them say._

_The tears left my eyes without my notice and the ache on my chest increased. I was so drowned in my pain that I could almost ignore the nauseating feeling surging on my stomach. Too bad I couldnt _really_ ignore. _

_Almost on a frenzy, my feet stopped without my consent. I couldnt hear Lissa anymore. The ghosts simply watched, silently, and the nausea was difficult enough to ignore. The wind felt chilly on my bare arms. Less than half a mile away, a tall figure mixed trough the trees. At that distance, with all darkness, I couldnt recognize the person, but the red on its eyes surely made one statement._

_Strigoi__._

_My reflexes and muscles grew ready for a fight. I breathed in and out and waited for the approach. I noticed that my heartache was as strong as my nausea. The monster slowly walked, almost afraid to be near me. I would kick his ass. The hell I would. _

_A voice in my head ordered me, _Run, Rose! Run!,_ and a realized the voice wasnt mine, but Lissas. She was more than a mile away, inside the wards. Through the bond, I felt her anger, fear, sadness and helplessness. I hated myself to cause her so much pain, but eventually she would figure I was at a point of no return._

_My chest burnt even more and the nausea increased. The moon chose that moment to free from the clouds. The pale light reached the forest and the Strigoi was near enough. My heart stopped. I couldnt breathe. I couldnt see, my tears blurred my vision. Now we were only two feet away. _

_Than a foot._

_I saw the beautiful face, blank with its nature, so pale that mistook with bad made make up. I saw the hair, brown, but not so dark as mine. The body, the tallness, the straight line he made with his lips. And the eyes, so mysterious as the last time, with a reddish ring around the pupil._

_Dimitri__._

_"Rose."_

_The voice and the smell were the same._

_"Rose."_

_I couldnt bare more pain._

_"Rose."_

_I remembered when we were caught, at the plane, with Kirova, with Lissa, the hand on my hair, the kisses, the confessions, the heartbreak, the loneliness, the helplessness, the night at the cabin, the way we made love, the eyes before he entered the cave, the Strigoi killing him._

_"Roza."_

_Killing him._

_"I love you."_

_And my world fell apart._

To be continued.

**N/A: Hello, guys! Its been a while since I intended to write something in English. As you could notice, its not my native language, but I think its worth to give a try. I hope you guys enjoy the story, while we are anxious to the release of _Blood Promise_. **

**Thanks for the attention, u****ntil the next time.**


	2. Prelude to an inconsequence

_Disclaimer: They do not belong to me._

Bloodache

**Prelude to an inconsequence **

That was it. Two weeks from my graduation. I have always dreamt of this moment in my life. It was true that my dreams' perspective changed through the years… Firstly, I imagined myself on a yellow-goldish dress, with my hair tied up on a complicated style, with my best friend Lissa beside me, with all her elegance and beauty glowing. We would have a hell lot of fun among the Moroi and the Novices which were graduating. I'd hang out with someone I wouldn't remember the following day, because I'd be too drunk for my own sake.

Then, the accident happened. I died and was revived by Lissa and her Spirit Power, the rare affinity that St. Vladimir, the saint of our school had. There were some legend about his partner, the shadow-kissed Anna, who supported and helped him, through the years of insecurity and almost madness. I was sure, during the two years we could escape from the Academy, I'd graduate with Liss on a ordinary High School and would keep her safe, counting on our luck that Strigoi wouldn't find us at all and the Headmistress as well.

Then, I met Dimitri Belikov. The bastard, the comrade, the goddamn guardian which separated us on the plane and kept me from ploting any plan of running away again with Lissa. I was afraid that time. Lissa was between madness and depression. I didn't think about graduation. I just wanted to be much more skilled than I could, after the incident of Jesse at least. I wanted my promise mark, kill Strigoi and kick anyone's ass who disturbed Lissa. And above all my worries, I had to suppress my feeling towards Dimitri, which grew stronger and deeper each day.

When the incident of the collar happened, some strange fire burnt between us. He was at denial, said that was just the spell, but Lissa's uncle, Victor Dashkov, knew better. He knew my feelings were corresponded and used that to rapt Lissa, intending to use her powers to cure his rare disease. I felt relief when Christian Ozera and Lissa were finally able to be together, in spite of all the rumors about the Ozera family. I could feel my friend's happiness. And my own, would wait. Hers first. They come first. That's what Dimitri said when we chatted about out twisted relationship.

Then, another month came. At the trip of school, I met Adrian Ivashkov. And Mason ended up dead because our naivety and stupidity. I grew closer to my mother, and my future was mixed with my desire of seeing Dimitri as a lover, not just a guardian partner, to be beside Lissa and protect her from any harm and have the respect of my mother. And I was so jealous of Tasha Ozera… Her beautiful face marked with scars, which made her more exotic. And I felt like a stupid student which fell for her mentor. But when, when I killed the two Strigoi which attacked us, I felt everything and nothing. I cried on my mom's shoulder while I was at the plane. Then, when I got my first _molnija_ marks before graduating. I wasn't congratulated though; death's not something people celebrate for. There was a sympathy, a matter of fact.

Dimitri held me that time. And my future certainly was painted with his rare smile and after shave cologne.

When I started seeing ghosts, I thought I was out of my mind. The training for killing Strigoi was just starting and I was about to freak out. I didn't understand why Mason tried to talk to me, it scared me to death. When I told Dimitri, he looked at me skeptical, but tried to understand. The psychologist which they sent me developed my deepest egoistical feelings: Did I really want to give up on my life to take care of Lissa? Did I want to give up on everything in order to be a guardian? I was at denial too. I was taught this was the right thing to do as a dhamphir girl. Which didn't want to become a blood-whore. I couldn't conceive the fact I was going crazy and the darkness which surrounded me grew darker and darker. Adrian always trying to understand what happened and then, when Lissa grew much angrier than normal, all her darkness and madness hit me, as I was taking all that bad energy from her. And I would be the one who's going crazy, instead of her.

Dimitri contained me. He always knew what to do. He was smart, intelligent, a bad-ass and everything else I could describe. We made love meanwhile Strigoi attacks were about to happen. I thought while I was at Siberia if we had gone wrong. If we should have been alert to all signals, to the attacks, to everything. And I found out it was useless to blame myself for such act. It was the naivety of some that made Strigoi take advantage.

Dimitri was taken by Nathan, a Strigoi which was on the attack. We killed many, we lost many too. But I freaked out when I saw that Dimitri was gone. Really gone. My heart ached, I felt numb. Just when we had figured out a way of being together without abandoning our duties as guardians. He would ask the Queen to be rescheduled to another Moroi and I would be Lissa's guardian. And all became dust. I realized my shadow-kissed condition made my communication with ghosts easier. And for some bizarre reason, I knew I had to go after Dimitri. He said one he'd rather be dead then turned to a Strigoi. And I'd be the own who'd have to kill him. _Kill him_.

I run away on my eighteenth birthday. I felt Lissa broken behind, with all the sorts of thoughts. She hadn't realize I was so deep on Dimitri. I couldn't blame her; I tried to hide from everything and everyone, just someone as observing as Natalie and Victor would have noticed before. Mason helped me before he could really rest. That was a shame I wouldn't grin at him again.

He said Dimitri went to Siberia. And I asked for money help to Adrian, using his feeling towards me and made a promise I wasn't sure I could keep; to give him a real chance just in case I came back from my suicidal plan.

Russia and Siberia wasn't that easy as I thought. I should have learnt the language, but I was able to communicate quite well without knowing few words. I met an alchemist, Sydney, who helped me through. I met Dimitri's family, and somehow, I wanted to replace my own. I met Abe Mazur, that later I discovered it was my father supporting me and helping me through my trip. I met an interesting couple, which were a Moroi and a Dhamphir guardian… shadow-kissed. And they proved really helpful when we saved Lissa from Avery, a crazy Moroi bitch who could use Spirit. I guess this element is dangerous…

And then… I met Dimitri.

I can't describe how was to meet him, because it wasn't Dimitri I knew. Somehow, though, it was. I became addicted to his bites and endorphin from Strigoi saliva and felt dirty. But a part of me wanted him back so desperately that all made sense. We fought, against ourselves and with others. He wanted me to run. He didn't want me to be near him, that's why he came back at first place. And I almost killed him. With a stake. And I hoped so much he said he loved me. But I think it was good he didn't; I didn't know what I would do, if I'd let him turn me…

I was badly injured. The couple shadow-kissed told me there was a legend the Spirit could revert Strigoi. My father – until there, I didn't know – put me on a place and made me swore I'd be back to Montana. Then, I met Lissa, and told her everything. I felt I shouldn't but I wanted so desperately something that I planned to my future. I wanted anything which reminded my life with him, or without him. My friendship with her was the only remain. My mother told me I had met my father and it was odd. Then, after all those things, I received a letter. _Never turn your back until you're sure your enemy is dead._ And he was coming after me.

The only person who could tell me anything about a possible cure of Strigoi would be Victor. I wondered if Lissa would be that supportive if she knew what went through my mind. She was undoubtly loyal. But would she go that far to save the love of my life?

Life's a piece of shit.

I always think that on mornings.

* * *

Adrian was waiting for me on the woods. I promised him I'd talk to him after the classes, but, he'd help me to back to the dorm, in order to prevent trouble. Alberta wasn't that happy with me, but she was sorry. That helped a lot when I couldn't focus straight. The pain was all over my face and my injured body. The marks of bites didn't disappear so fast. No one had courage to point them. There was too much to bear, they guessed. And their silence was disturbing and comforting at the same time.

Then, I catch I glimpse of his beautiful green eyes. I couldn't tell I wasn't attracted, he was truly beautiful, as all the Moroi men were. And my dhamphir hormones naturally responded to his beauty. But it seemed empty as well. It was just a beautiful face. And a beautiful heart; Adrian proved he was much deeper than I conceived. I was two feet from him now. He wasn't drunk; in fact, he's just gotten out from shower. I couldn't help but smirk. He was really trying to get my attention.

"So, what's up?" I tried to light my voice but it went rough. As I haven't said a word for days.

"Well, we should talk. We had an arrangement."

"Alright…" I said slowly. His gaze was intense and I couldn't help blushing. That was idiot. I was very used to flirt with everyone; I shouldn't be embarrassed with some other beautiful Moroi guy. _Well, this one is different and you know it_. I kicked myself mentally. Dammit, dammit, dammit…

"I find amusing how you can inner chat. I wish I could read your thoughts as you do with Lissa."

"I am glad you can't," I snapped back, defensive. I crossed my arms on my chest and felt his posture relax even more. He wasn't just reading me; he studied all my moves.

"So, Adrian, are we done here? Which terms of the arrangement you want to talk about? I am in deep shit if they find me out of the dorm with you, of all the people…"

"You offend me immensely, Rose," he joked and traced his long finger on my chin. "They would perfectly understand we are just talking for now, unless…"

"Don't try me," I cut him shortly and narrowed my eyes. Then, his eyes changed. They were serious now, and something on the expression told me I wouldn't like what he was about to say.

"Rose, we had an agreement you'd give me chance if you came back successfully. Well, apart from some injuries, you seem quite alright," he took a deep breath and continued. "But there's something we should discuss _before_ we get involved."

"That would be…?"

"Why didn't you kill Dimitri Belikov?"

* * *

A hundred thousand dollars question. Why didn't I? Because I was drugged? Because he was the love of my life? Because I hadn't had nerve? Because my first intention was to bring him back to me, no matter what? Because I really thought on turning to be with him forever? I was so selfish. I could see that clearly looking at the emerald green eyes.

That was cruel. And he knew it.

"I don't feel like talking to you about that."

He smiled. "In fact, I'm not comfortable either. But I see your dreams Rose. I see your aura torn. You are broken, for God's sake!" he sighed exasperated and held my face between his hands. "There are bite marks all over your flash. And you speak, scream, cry his name all night and-"

"There's no fucking way you're stalking me into my room, there is Adrian?"

"Lissa told me," I held my breath. "And I see your dreams."

"This is not your-"

"That's everyone's business, Rose!" he exclaimed and let my face go. And his fingertips were so warm… "You are driving us crazy with worry! Lissa don't recognize you anymore, your mother is worried and…"

"And what?" I exploded. The angry tears rolled over my face but I was too tired to hide them. To pretend I was fine and I could move on. Dimitri was outside, somewhere, hunting me, waiting for any chance to take and kill me. Didn't anybody see that?

"And so we want to help you."

I was about to laugh at his face but I caught the look. Adrian was in deep shit too. The Spirit was drowning him, and there wasn't any shadow-kissed guardian to take his blackness away. And he became attached to me, which didn't help him enough. Goddammit.

"How can you help me, Adrian?" I breathed in and out. He came closer again and his fingers were on my cheek. "I wish I could see, but I don't know if I'm blind or if you are dreaming."

He smiled. He was so beautiful smiling, and he knew it. But his smile faded as his lips touched mine lightly. I closed my eyes and saw Dimitri biting me. But Adrian was caressing my hair on that picture, which was strange. As our kiss grew deeper, Dimitri was fading away. I wanted him to come back but Adrian kept his hands on my hair. And I finally let him go.

I broke the kiss abruptly with fresh tears on my eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm just showing you, Rose," he pushed my tears away and kissed my forehead before holding me. "that you have to let him go."

"Brilliant. And how am I supposed to do this? By exchanging him for you?"

"Not exchanging, because I'm no one to replace another," his breath on my neck was intoxicating. It was wrong, but it felt right anyway. "But I can make you better. If you let me."

"And how would you do that?"

"Be my soulmate."

"What?"

"Be my shadow-kissed guardian too, Rose."

* * *

_To be continued._

**Thank you for the reviews, until the next time.**


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